There is something about this picture that makes Mariah Carey look like a muppet. I don’t know if it’s her preposterous shoes, or her goofy muppet grin, or her little muppet slouch, but she is ridiculous. And that makes me happy.
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Seriously. How miserable is it to be Mariah Carey’s dog? Look at the pitiful, despondent, hopeless, dejected look on that poor little guy’s face. Have you seen a sadder dog?
Hang in there, doggie. God loves a terrier.
Pariah went jewelry shopping for some new necklaces. I’m guessing this photo was snapped riiiiiight about when she was asked if her breasts were real.
I really really really hate her.
Pariah Carey can’t even be bothered to hold her own umbrella these days. Look at this poor sap. How much self esteem do you think he has? He has to go to sleep at night knowing that the most worthy accomplishment of his day is that he kept the sun off a jack russell terrier. Consider that for a moment.
Hopefully Pariah carries man-treats for him, at least.
Words can’t do justice to the level of hatred I have for her and her stupid album cover.
That’s it. Mariah Carey has crossed the line and will now join Ashley Judd and Katherine Heigl in having her own I Hate category here at the MockDock. According to this source, Mariah Carey had this to say about the possibility of performing a duet with Jennifer Lopez:
“I’d rather be on stage with a pig — a duet with Jennifer Lopez and me just ain’t going to happen.”
Now, I’m the first person to say that JLo isn’t an exceptional singer. But my my my - SOMEONE thinks an awful lot of themselves, now, doesn’t someone? Perhaps JLo doesn’t want to be seen on stage with someone who needs to shave her mustache as often as Marc Anthony either. Didja ever think of THAT, Mariah? What a beeyotch.
….to adding an I Hate Mariah Carey official category to this site. Her latest My-Voice-Is-So-Unique-And-Special-And-Perfect-That-It-Pains-Me-To-Even-Have-To-Share-The-Earth-With-All-Of-You-Common-People quote is as follows:
“Before a big show I have to do ‘vocal rest’ where I’m not allowed to speak for two days. It’s so boring having to write notes to everyone! I need Stephen Hawking’s voice machine for when I’m on vocal rest. I’d like a machine where I can just think and it comes out in a robot voice - that would be amazing.”
I am betting that anyone who is employed by, related to, in close proximity to, or having any interaction whatsoever with Mariah Carey is happiest during the two days before her shows.
Mariah Carey apparently has recently been quoted lamenting the hardships that come with having her job.
“Look, to me, that I’m able to do what I love for a living is a gift from God. I could be doing something I hate every day. Yes, sometimes it’s tough because I’ve got to sleep 15 hours to sing the way I want to. It’s not easy because my vocal chords are different than most people’s. “
First of all, if the REASON your job is hard is because you are forced to sleep 15 hours, then your job is not hard. In fact, any job which requires that much sleep is officially one of the best jobs ever. Secondly, I would like a doctor to explain how her vocal chords are different. She might be able to sing better, but I’m pretty sure her vocal chords aren’t inherently different than the average Joe’s.
Thirdly, I hate Mariah Carey.
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