Either that, or she just prefers flour-white knees and feet. I suppose that’s possible.
Did I ever tell you guys about my first experience with the Mystic Tan spray-on booth thingy? Yes. I have done this. A friend of mine tried to prep me on what to expect, and told me that really there were just a few key things to note:
1. Make sure to put goo on your palms and elbows and knees so that the spray stuff doesn’t overdo those areas.
2. Make sure to wear the shower cap but leave your ears uncovered.
3. Get sprayed on your front first, then turn around, and get sprayed on your back. Each side takes about 10 seconds.
4. Hold your breath.
So, armed with that information, I went for my first cancer-free tanning experience. I put on the goo, put on the shower cap, walked into the booth, and held my breath.
Here is the key information my friend left out.
The spray is freaking COLD. It’s like an ice-monster from the North Pole is blowing snow on you. That’s what it feels like. And to make matters worse, it blasts at you suddenly, with no real warning, and so you know what happens as a result?
You gasp. Specifically, you inhale sharply from the shock of the misty spray-ice. Which is, as you might have already guessed, the EXACT OPPOSITE of holding your breath. By the time my frontular area was done, I was choking and sputtering and coughing and absolutely certain I was going to die from inhaling the icy poison.
I did manage to turn around and get sprayed on my backular area, still coughing, still gasping, still inhaling all the misty icy poison.
Inexplicably, after I escaped that cold chamber of death, I looked pretty good. I looked a heck of a lot more even than Lindsay does.
Plus, my lungs got REALLY TAN. Nothing more attractive than a pair of bronzed lungs.
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