I have to admit I’m feeling about as self-absorbed as Ashley Judd right now, since ALL I CAN TALK ABOUT is my new car, but you guys, I warned you about this. I told you I’d be impossible for a little while, and that you just needed to sort of hang in there for a bit until I got it out of my system, so consider this the official me-getting-it-out-of-my-system post. I think after this, I’ll be back to normal.
Mr. Mock drove Suki last night to take us out to dinner, and we figured out some of the toys a bit better, and this morning, I drove her to pick up some Cool Ranch Doritos, which was something I absolutely didn’t need but it gave me an excuse to drive. And I am happy to report that on my way home, I officially felt cool. Yesterday I felt like a geek who was just learning to drive, but today I felt like a badass. I’m already used to her, which is a lot more than I can say for Helga, who I drove for 4.5 years and still wasn’t totally comfortable in.
Anyway, I told you guys I’d make a video of her, and look at what a good promise-keeper I am!
As if Paris Hilton and Katie Price didn’t look whoriffic enough individually, I give you the two of them together, in one skankalicious skankified skankfest.
But that’s not even important right now, because I HAVE MY NEW CAR.
Mr. Mock and I spent nearly 3 hours at the dealership, about 2.5 of which was with the dude who was teaching us how to use all the crap in the car. And you guys, there is SO MUCH CRAP IN THE CAR. He tried to point out everything, but frankly most of it is all a blur now. I’m lucky I was able to find the turn signals on the way home, I was so overwhelmed.
Anyway, I just walked in after spending the rest of the evening in the car, in the garage, trying to figure out all the gadgetry and hightechification. It’s taken a few hours, but I am now capable of burning CD’s into my car. Yes. It DOES that. The dude at the dealership took my phone and bluetoothified it to my car, and now all I have to do is press a button (although I’ve forgotten where it is) and say, “Mr. Mock” and all of a sudden I will be connected to Mr. Mock’s phone and his voice will just sort of materialize within the confines of my car. And I can just talk into the air at him. I cannot get over this.
I didn’t take any pictures because it was already dark by the time I got home, but I will take some this weekend. I might even give you guys a VIDEO TOUR of some of the gadgetry, because even though it’s totally amazing and gizmo-ified, it’s also kind of ridiculous. I really think this car could potentially take flight with the right combination of buttons and voice commands.
Sadly, I don’t feel as cool as I thought I would because right now I’m too scared of it to feel cool. There is so much to learn. She has been named, though – and henceforth shall be known as Suki. She’s Japanese, after all.
Victoria Beckham is on the cover of India’s Vogue magazine looking FEROCIOUS as usual. I totally want that forehead bedazzler to become a new fad now. I’m not entirely sure how it’s fastened, but I want one, and I want to wear it to work as an accessory and act like it’s completely normal. And I want mine to be a bust of Robbie Williams with emerald eyes.
You guys, in approximately 3 and a half hours, I’m getting my new car. The dealership has told us to plan for at least 2 hours in new-car-training, during which they will attempt to show us EVERY gadget and thingamagizmo there is on the car. I am sooooo excited, and am reminding you of this for three reasons:
1. Because you need to be prepared for how cool I’m about to become and
2. Because you need fair warning that I could be a huge BRAT about my newfound coolness over the next several days and
3. Because I may not post much tonight because I will be too busy playing in my new car. It’s entirely possible that I will end up sleeping in it.
Anyway, I love Victoria Beckham and her crazy forehead bling, and I’m getting my new car soon. That is all.
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