Ok I realized I just sort of slammed her in the previous post, but I must give her MAD PROPS for playing along with the good folks at funnyordie.com to make this parody on the McCain ad. LOVE LOVE LOVE.
UPDATE: OMG guess what! When asked for comment about this video, the Obama camp’s rep emailed, “Whatever” and McCain’s camp’s rep said the following brilliant brilliant thing:
“It sounds like Paris Hilton supports John McCain’s ‘all of the above’ approach to America’s energy crisis - including both alternatives and drilling. Paris Hilton might not be as big a celebrity as Barack Obama, but she obviously has a better energy plan.”
Do you want to hear the funniest thing ever? Paris Hilton just turned down the role of Roxie Hart in Chicago for a London-based production because she was too busy.
Apparently, she would have had to work 6-day weeks on the stage production and she said, ”We did some rehearsals, but then I found out it was six days a week for a couple of months. I was flattered, but with my schedule, there was no way I could fit it in.”
Do you guys realize how ridiculous that is? WHAT IS PARIS HILTON BUSY DOING? What could possibly be on her schedule? If I had to craft an itinerary for Paris, I would guess it looks a lot like this:
12pm: Wake up to the gentle breezes of two giant palm leaves being fanned over her entire body by man slaves.
1pm: Eat 2 grapes.
1.15pm: 2 hour massage
3.15pm: Hair and Make-up
5.15pm: Shopping
8.15pm: Dinner at best photo-opportunity restaurant
9.30pm: Clubbing for photo opportunities and/or watching boyfriend play in his “band”
12am: Obligatory sex with boyfriend
12.07am: Sleep
Now that I review it, it really doesn’t look like she WOULD have time to spare for an actual job. My bad.
Remember when I posted about Chief Bratton before? Well, I continue to love him, and he continues to say the best stuff ever. Today, he said that the whole paparazzi issue has calmed down substantially since “Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody anymore, thank God, and evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don’t seem to have much of an issue.” How great is that?
He was speaking about some dumb proposal that creates really dumb, completely unenforceable laws to crack down on the paparazzi, when in fact, it’s the celebrities themselves causing much of the commotion. He said further, “If the ones that attract the paparazzi behave in the first place, like we expect of anybody, that solves about 90 percent of the problem. The rest we can deal with.“
You can just tell how much he loves celebrities, can’t you? I mean, the love is just ooooozing out of him. I totally agree with him, except that it’s kind of a bummer for us at the Mock Dock when celebrities behave.
How much do you love that he totally called out Lindsay Lohan for “going gay”? SO great.
Apparently, there is some sort of movie/musical coming out later this year entitled Repo! The Genetic Opera, and whoever made this movie allowed Paris Hilton to not only be in it, but also to sing in it. And based on this clip, it has the potential of being the worst movie ever made ever.
Mockdock love goes to whoever comes up with the best plot summary for this fiasco.
This is one of the people who apparently applied to be Paris Hilton’s BFF for her new reality show, which is entitled something like, “Who wants to be my BFF” or “You too, can be my BFF” or “If you have Valtrex, you can be my BFF”. I’m not totally clear on the show name.
Anyway, this is PRECISELY what I expected someone who wanted to apply for such a position to look like. I instantly picture leopard print and a fellatio-ready mouth. So weird!
Is it just me, or are these ridiculous pink shoes like 14 sizes too big for her? WHAT IS GOING ON with celebrities and retarded shoes lately? Am I going to have to create a Stupid Shoes category here or what?
Recent pictures of Paris Hilton suggest that she has either been involved in some sort of altercation with a large-clawed animal, or she’s taken a new approach to staying cool in the LA sun by cutting out large chunks of her clothing.
Checking to see if she needs a refill on her Valtrex is Paris Hilton, in one of my favorite photos of her of all time. Do you know what I just read? She was paid $135,000 to show up at some club for an hour and a half. That means she made $25 PER SECOND that she was there.
I pledge right now to throw my support behind any presidential candidate who promises to make her disappear.
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