Seriously – is Heidi Montag the stupidest female in this country right now? Can we investigate this?
According to this, now that her plastic surgeon is dead (for real! he died last week!) Heidi has decided to talk about how much she regrets making herself look like an alien. AND, she even wants to downgrade from her G sized boobies to double D’s, because she’s “desperate to go back to normal.” Isn’t that cute how she thinks she used to be normal?
It’s been nine months since she had all of her crazy work done, but she’s still in all sorts of pain – the kind of pain even painkillers can’t fix. She is “unable to hug her four dogs or wear anything but custom-made clothing.” And worse still, she can’t work out with those giant bazongas. “It’s heartbreaking. I can’t live an everyday life.”
It IS heartbreaking, isn’t it? I mean, isn’t your heart just BREAKING??
Heidi’s on the hunt for a South American surgeon now, because she feels “trapped in her own body” now that her original surgeon is all deceased and whatnot. “There’s just no fixing it,” she says. “Dr. Ryan knows the work he did, he knows everything.”
I feel bad laying this on you this evening, because I know how much sleep you’re going to lose worrying about Heidi Montag and trying to mend your breaking hearts.
I mean, her body has been RAVAGED, you guys. It’s like a bad science experiment. Her boobs are lopsided and the rest of her is just a bony, blotchy mess.
I almost feel bad enough for her to MAIL her some twinkies. Like – I’m thinking we should start some sort of Twinkies For Tara fund. Who’s with me?
What specifically about a cat in a bow tie and a glass of champagne do you think Dr. Moore believed would entice plastic surgery patients to his practice?
BEHOLD after the jump: Heidi Montag having dinner with her family, and justifying her 10 plastic surgeries in one day by saying it’s all because of where she lives.
How do you completely transform your body and face such that you end up looking like the alien-version of yourself, and then say, “Beauty comes from within.” HOW???
We’ve been spared from having to see nauseating photos of Heidi Montag for several weeks because apparently, she’s addicted to making herself look as little like Heidi Montag as she possibly can.
I can’t decide how I feel about this. See these two attractive women above? That’s a mother and her daughter. The mother had a whole big bunch of plastic surgery specifically to look more like her daughter. And obviously, it worked really really well.
It would be a lot easier to mock this if the mom had ended up looking like a total freak, but you guys, I honestly had no idea until I read the article further which one of these women was the 50 year old, and which one was the 28 year old. Can you tell?
…but I think there is a tiny possibility, perhaps, that just maybe there is a chance that Faye Dunaway could conceivably have potentially had some plastic surgery.
It’s feasible, is all I’m saying. It’s within the realm of possibility.
Two women in Florida are critically ill and hospitalized, after they allowed a fake doctor to inject their assular areas with industrial grade silicone.
I just re-read that sentence and still cannot believe it’s true. BUT IT IS!!!
Apparently, both women wanted to have J Lo booties. So they paid Sharhonda Lindsay (a regular person off the street who somehow convinced them that she was an actual doctor) a bunch of money to give them new assular areas. Sharhonda, as it happens, is now MIA (not the pregnant Grammy kind, but the actual missing in action kind). She apparently has an inkling that she’s in a bit of trouble.
Now – I’m not claiming to be a genius or anything, but if I met a woman who claimed to be a doctor, and she said she could give me assular area shots IN HER HOME, I’d be a little suspicious. Particularly if once I got there, it turned out that she mixed the contents she was about to inject into me in a TUPPERWARE BOWL. But that didn’t seem to be at all unusual to the two women who are now basically fighting for survival.
One of the women got FORTY injections into her assular area in a 90 minute period. The other got (only) 20 – I’m assuming because her assular area was already amply endowed. One suffered total kidney failure, and the other’s internal organs stopped functioning. Both are in their early 30′s.
Note to all women: STOP DOING THIS CRAP TO YOURSELVES. It’s not worth it.
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