The Mock Dock

I can’t decide how I feel about this.  See these two attractive women above?  That’s a mother and her daughter.  The mother had a whole big bunch of plastic surgery specifically to look more like her daughter.  And obviously, it worked really really well.

It would be a lot easier to mock this if the mom had ended up looking like a total freak, but you guys, I honestly had no idea until I read the article further which one of these women was the 50 year old, and which one was the 28 year old.  Can you tell?

Answer is after the jump.

Continue reading ‘I’m Torn. Is This Totally Bizarre Or Totally Awesome?’

…but I think there is a tiny possibility, perhaps, that just maybe there is a chance that Faye Dunaway could conceivably have potentially had some plastic surgery.

It’s feasible, is all I’m saying.  It’s within the realm of possibility.

Two women in Florida are critically ill and hospitalized, after they allowed a fake doctor to inject their assular areas with industrial grade silicone.

I just re-read that sentence and still cannot believe it’s true.  BUT IT IS!!!

Apparently, both women wanted to have J Lo booties.  So they paid Sharhonda Lindsay (a regular person off the street who somehow convinced them that she was an actual doctor) a bunch of money to give them new assular areas.  Sharhonda, as it happens, is now MIA (not the pregnant Grammy kind, but the actual missing in action kind).  She apparently has an inkling that she’s in a bit of trouble.

Now – I’m not claiming to be a genius or anything, but if I met a woman who claimed to be a doctor, and she said she could give me assular area shots IN HER HOME, I’d be a little suspicious. I mean, would give yourself botox injections without professional assistance? Particularly if once I got there, it turned out that she mixed the contents she was about to inject into me in a TUPPERWARE BOWL.  But that didn’t seem to be at all unusual to the two women who are now basically fighting for survival.

One of the  women got FORTY injections into her assular area in a 90 minute period.  The other got (only) 20 – I’m assuming because her assular area was already amply endowed.  One suffered total kidney failure, and the other’s internal organs stopped functioning.  Both are in their early 30′s.  

Note to all women: STOP DOING THIS CRAP TO YOURSELVES.  It’s not worth it.

So apparently that dude that Usher is married to was recently rushed to the ICU of some Brazilian hospital after she suffered cardiac and respiratory arrest while being anesthetized for liposuction.  

Yeah.  She went to BRAZIL to have liposuction.  There are approximately two reasons I can think of for someone to choose to have liposuction in Brazil, versus the good ole USA:

1.  She wanted to be super private about it and not risk the paparazzi finding out.  In which case – WOW – that was a total fail.

2.  She wanted to have SO MUCH liposuction and other body altering crap done to herself that no American plastic surgeon in his right mind would agree to do it.

Anyway, she was reportedly put into a medically-induced coma for 24 hours, but is now recovering.  In Brazil.

See this perfectly reasonable-looking Korean woman? (I know! Two Korean people posts in one day! Crazy!)  Well, she doesn’t look like this anymore.

She had her first plastic surgery when she was only 28, and was immediately hooked.  She moved to Japan, and after like a gatrillion facial surgeries, she ended up with a huge giant puffy face, but was so delusional about it that she would look in the mirror and think, “Damn – I am FINE!” and keep on getting more surgery.  Finally, the docs that she visited said, “Enough already, you freak.  Get a therapist!” (only in not so many words) and stopped performing surgery on her.  At this point, she looked like this:

After getting rejected by all the surgeons, she went back home to Korea, where her parents promptly threw her into therapy, which she was into for awhile, but then decided it was way cooler to keep doing weird crap to her face.  So she found a doc who gave her silicone injections, and THEN even gave her a syringe and her very own SUPPLY of silicone for some do-it-yourself maintenance. 

Now.  Here’s where my Tip O’ The Day comes into play.  If you are big into plastic surgery, and find a doctor to give you your own syringe and your own silicone to continue injecting your big fat puffy face, and you RUN OUT of silicone, DO NOT replace it with cooking oil.  Bad idea. 

But see, this chick didn’t have the benefit of my Tip O’ The Day, so she injected herself with cooking oil.  I kid you not.  She got so gross looking that she started to show up on TV shows, and enough people felt sorry for her that money started rolling in so that she could get her face fixed.  It has taken several procedures, and you can see what she looks like now after the jump.  

Continue reading ‘Mockarena’s Tip O’ The Day’

So this is some chick who has now officially become the person in the world who has spent the most on/had the most plastic surgeries.  She’s 49, and has apparently had over 100 surgeries to keep her looking like a barbie doll. 

I don’t know what types of surgeries she’s had specifically, but NOWHERE in the article does it say she underwent any sort of headshrinking procedure, even though that is what it looks like in this photo.  Her head looks totally photoshopped onto that body, doesn’t it?

If you are considering liposuction or any kind of plastic surgery whatsoever, take this picture of Tara Reid with you to your plastic surgeon as an example of how you DO NOT want to look.

You’ve all seen her front plenty of times, but it turns out the back isn’t any better.  Her doctor shouldn’t just have his license revoked – he should be forced to HAVE plastic surgery that looks like this.

An alert and astute mockdocker sent me this recent photo of Jocelyn Wildenstein, now 62.  I’ve posted about her before, but everytime I see a new photo of her, I’m momentarily shocked by how godawfully hideous she is.

There is NO WAY she closes her eyes when she sleeps, you guys.  And I don’t see how she can make out with her boyfriend with that mouth.  It just doesn’t seem capable of moving.

This is Katie Price, aka Jordan, who is famous for enlarging and then reducing and then enlarging and then reducing and then enlarging and then reducing her breastular area.  When she’s make-up free and natural, she’s actually quite beautiful, as you can see from the picture above.  But along with all the boobjobs, she’s also decided to mess with other parts of her body.  Case in point:  LOOK AT HER FACE NOW:

WHY WHY WHY do women insist on knifing into and injectifying themselves like this, particularly in the face-ular area?  She’s basically destroyed now.  And it’s a waste of a perfectly nice looking person.