See that dude? He’s a total perv.
The Smoking Gun reports that Ronald Miller, age 56, was hanging out at home with his windows and doors wide open, when police drove by and noticed that anyone driving down the road could easily see him all exposed and naked and doing unspeakable things to himself. So they approached the house, and got close enough to see very clearly that Ronald was busying himself with putting a hefty bag covered claw hammer into his analular area. Yup! Riiiiiight in there. I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, how might one go about inserting a claw hammer into one’s anus without proper lubrication?
Ronald, as it turns out, was waaaaay ahead of the game, and had lubed himself up nicely with MOTOR OIL.
The police walked right into his house and it wasn’t until they actually spoke to him that Ronald bothered to even acknowledge their presence. They informed him they’d arrest him for public indecency and cruelty to claw hammers. (Ok - maybe not the claw hammer part, but I certainly feel sorry for it…)
One of the cops happened to see a neighbor witnessing this whole thing and asked her questions about Ronald. She had the following observation to share:
“He’s not right.”
Nice detective work, neighbor. Very astute observation indeed. Was it the motor oil that gave it away?
I would love this story even more if the dude didn’t live just 2.5 hours away from here. <shudder>
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