You might want to grab some tissues before you read this.
Raffaello Follieri, the dude that used to date Freaky McBigFeatureFace (Anne Hathaway, in case you’re new here) before he got all criminal-tastic, is crying about how much jail sucks.
His attorneys say that the jail conditions are poor, and that the Rafster is having to contend with bad food, bad smells, and unclean potties, and that due to these poor conditions, he’s got a fever and blood in his urine. Yeah. You read that right. Blood in his urine. Naturally, he’s requesting a transfer.
How much are you crying right now? Are the tears just flowing?
Newsflash, Raff - jail is SUPPOSED to suck.
Freaky-featured Anne Hathaway recently broke up with her boyfriend, who basically looks like a super rich and french version of Zach Braff, even though he’s Italian. And she broke up with him in the nick of time it seems. According to Us Magazine, Raffaello Follieri could be looking at life in prison for all sorts of white collar criminal kinds of stuff like wire fraud and money laundering.
But my most favorite charge against him is that he apparently told an investor that he had been appointed as the CFO of the Vatican. LOOK at him. He looks about 14. I’m no investing genius, but if this dude told me he was CFO of the Vatican, I would probably say something to the effect of, “Awww. That’s adorable.” And then I would pinch his cheeks and look for his mom.
Personally, I don’t know how anyone could date a guy whose name is Raffaello Follieri without constantly asking for a side of pasta.
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