The Rock Of Love Tourbus is almost upon us, everyone. And judging by this extended preview, we are in for the SKANKOCITY OF OUR LIVES.
I think I could get Mr. Mock to watch this with me just based on the abundance of breastularity alone. He’ll be all, “No way, Mock – I’m not watching this garbage” and then the boobs will start flinging all over the place and he’ll be so hypnotized by them that he’ll forget that what he’s watching is quite possibly the most horrific infliction of crap ever perpetrated on the human race. (I don’t even know if that made sense, but it sounded really good in my head.)
Did you guys ever watch the first season in which Bret Michaels’ diabetes is mentioned ad nauseum? You know what I hate? When people pronounce the word “diabetes” like Dye-ah-beet-us instead of Dye-ah-beet-eez. Bret Michaels prefers the former, which makes me want to punch him in the face.
Wow. Bret’s had some work done, hasn’t he? I mean, he practically blends right in with all of the other skanky girls on the upcoming season of Rock Of Love pictured here. He’s like, Bret PerSkankified.
Daisy, one of the rejects from Rock of Love (not to be confused with Daisy, my VP) is getting her own show, creatively named Daisy of Love. The premise is the same, which is to say that it’s going to be about a skanky person making out with like 30 other skanky people and then acting all emotional and dramatic about all of them.
(I will totally watch this. Someone help me.)
…and this was his answer.
This may come as a shock to approximately none of you, but there is going to be a Rock Of Love 3. This is due to the fact that the victim winner of Rock Of Love 2 has broken up with Bret due to their “busy schedules.” Loosely translated, I believe this means she has probably contracted some sort of STD from him.
Anyway, the third season will have all 30 contestants fighting over who gets the fastest refill on Valtrex NOT in the normal venue – a trashy mansion, but ON A TOUR BUS. That should be completely hilarious, and I will, sadly, watch every episode.
..VH1 is bringing Rock of Love with Bret Michaels back for another round of a stripping, hair pulling, bitch slapping drinkfest!
I. Am. So. Psyched! (As long as it doesn’t conflict with American Idol.)
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