Guess what! Paris Hilton’s boyfriend, that bald dude who’s the brother of Nicole Richie’s husband but whose name I can’t be bothered to remember or look up even though I just linked to it, won’t let her get a tattoo. And guess why!!
Because he thinks she looks pure.
Apparently, said boyfriend is planning to get a tattoo of Paris somewhere on his person, on a bodypart which isn’t already covered in ink, but won’t let her get one. She explains;
“He is going to get one of me but he won’t let me get one. He doesn’t like tattoos on women. He thinks I look pure.”
It’s really so coincidental, because it just so happens that “pure” is the very first word that I think of when I hear “Paris Hilton” too!!! You too, right? Or at least, it’s in your top three, the other two possibilities being “chaste” and “virgin.”
Clearly said boyfriend hasn’t had the privilege of watching Paris’ sex tape, in which she is as opposite from pure as one can possibly be.
Side note: Have you guys seen that sex tape? It is TERRIBLE. There is a scene, and I’m not making this up, where that lowlife who made the tape performs favors of a sexual nature on Paris, and she literally just lies there, bored to tears, for probably 45 minutes straight. Like - her boredom was so obvious that it would not have been a surprise if she had whipped out a nail file, or a magazine, or a Sudoku puzzle to help pass the time. So I’ve heard, I mean. From other people who are not me who have seen the tape.
Anyway, I just found the whole purity thing hilarious.
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