First it was Tori Spelling and Paula Abdul. Now it’s Audrina Patridge, who isn’t as much a celebrity as she is a total drain on society, but nevertheless, she’s well-known enough to be mocked. I am a heterosexual female, but most of you know that I will happily and readily admit when another woman has physical features which are desirable. For instance, remember when I commented on how awesome of an assular area Kate Hudson has?
But I cannot see ANYTHING attractive about Chipmunk Patridge’s boobular area. Either these are not attractive boobs, or this is the least flattering bikini top ever. Your thoughts?
He’s wearing MAROON TOENAIL POLISH.
And he’s married to a man.
Hey - did I tell you guys that 90210 is returning to TV? And it’s got an all new pseudo-teenaged cast, but it also includes familiar folks like Jennie Garth and Tori Spelling. Which means that not only is Tori Spelling making a comeback to TV, but so is that completely bizarre cavern between her boobs.
Seriously you guys - what IS that? You see what I’m talking about, right? That valley at the top of her boobular area? It’s always completely freaked me out. It looked even weirder when she wasn’t pregnant and was so thin you could see her chestular bones in addition to the cavern. Now THAT was weird.
Her. Tori Spelling. And I’m not even about to knock her big ole baby belly - I’m talking specifically about her man face. No amount of make-up or floral dress prints make her look feminine. In fact, I would even go so far as to say Chris Crocker outdoes her in the looking-like-a-female department.
How many times today did you think, “MY GOD I wish I could see what Tori Spelling looks like in a bikini at eight months pregnant!” I know. Me too. It was like negative 4 times. Nevertheless, here she is, in all of her splendor. Enjoy!
There is so much happening in this photo. The baby is freaking out…or laughing…or screaming…I can’t tell…The dad is PISSED….and Tori Spelling is looking as plastic and ugly as always. But let’s get to this dog. Could it hate its life any more? It’s begging us to put it out of it’s misery.
But she IS pregnant again. I’m so over all these celebrity pregnancies. I wish there was a celebrity out there that could just be outrageous every day, and like, I don’t know, lose custody of her kids and speak in British accents and screw paparazzi all the time. Wouldn’t that be something?
I challenge all 14 of our readers to find me SOMEONE of the male persuasion who finds Tori Spelling either a) attractive or b) NOT a man in drag.
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