Someone allowed Tyra Banks to win an Emmy for “best informative show.” Yes - that Tyra - the one who cannot hold a conversation with anyone without trying to showcase herself in some way. The same person/people allowed Rachael Ray to win an Emmy for “best talk show.”
This is clear cut, incontrovertible proof that the people who decide on the winners of the Emmys do not actually watch the shows for which they vote.
Case in point. Behold below an example of Tyra’s “informative programming.”
Reports are floating around that Tyra Banks has a stalker who has been issued an order to stay away from her.
No report yet on whether or not the stalker is trying to get in her pants or just get her to shut up already.
Well, vaseline doesn’t have anything to do with this story, but Mockarena did let us know that Tyra likes vaseline. As I listen to news reports about presidential candidates taking turns appearing on the Tyra Banks show, I was made aware of this video from her show.
Sorry for the sexy shitty ass video, but this was obviously put on youtube by the lady that was doing the squashing. Tyra will have an update on this guy when he dies of internal bleeding.
Tyra Banks goes insane for Vaseline
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…and I’m just going to throw out the possibility that Tyra Banks likes Vaseline.
And also that she’s a lunatic.
According to reports, Tyra Banks blames the tabloids and paparazzi for her inability to find a good man, because they keep everyone thinking she’s hooked up with various people when she’s really not.
Mmm hmm. THAT is the reason you’re single, Tyra.
Ok, so I have to admit, I watch the Tyra Banks Show every evening at 5pm. Hey, when you don’t have cable, you watch what you can. So I have watched for awhile now, and just this week I have pinpointed why I don’t like Tyra. I’ll give her some credit first off: she is a strong woman who I think stands up for her beliefs as an African American, a woman, and as a person who weighs more than 90 pounds. But, this is the Mock Dock, so I would like to point out her annoying tendencies, and why I now have to watch PBS from 5 to 6.
First of all, she is the most annoying interview-er ever. For example, this week she interviewed Barack Obama. The interview went something like this: Tyra - “Barack, you and I have a lot in common because I like me, and so do you, and you are mixed, like me, and I think that’s great, and I have a brother in the war, and you have opinions on the war, and you have a lot of opinions like me, and I don’t know if you have ever seen my show, but people called me fat, and I stood up to them, and you have to stand up too. Who do you think should play you in a movie?” Barack, “well, maybe Densel, but I have big ears like Will Smith.” Tyra - “That’s hilarious. I have a big forehead, look. But I used to be a supermodel, and now I’m retired…….”
This went on and on. I swear that if analyzed, she says 83% more than the person she has on the show…the person that is supposed to do the talking.
Also, if she brings up one more time that she used to be a model, I will scream. She talks about it every day people. I mean, we get it. We do. Here is what she said yesterday, to a girl who is apparently an up-and-coming model. “Well, as you, and everybody, knows, I used to be a super model, and now I am retired. I know that when I was up and coming, I would watch the tapes of (insert another model’s name here) and imitate her walk.” New Model - “Oh, I did that with YOUR tapes!” Tyra (acting surprised) - “You did?????? (audience claps) Well, its my pleasure to be your role model as you come up into this business. Hopefully you can have the same success as I have with my modeling, being on magazine covers, with Victoria Secret, with “America’s Next Top Model” and now this show. I hope the same for you.”
So, now you see why no one should be watching this show. Because, seriously, the day her head finally explodes, its going to be messy people. Thanks for reading, I’ll get off the soap box. What’s on PBS?
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