The Mock Dock

My Victoria is pregnant, you guys.

Let’s just all recall how fabulous she looks even when hugely pregnant:

There’s no reason to expect that this pregnancy will be any different.  And I look forward to seeing her in 5 inch heels on her due date, because YOU KNOW SHE will wear them.

LOVE.  So happy for her and hope she has a girl.

Fur hats. Apparently it’s super royal to wear them, but I think they look absurd. BEHOLD:

I have to believe that Kate Middleton will avoid this particular fashion disaster. So far, I’m loving her style.

Now, I reserve the right to change my mind completely on this if Victoria Beckham pulls off a fur hat.

The gorgeous and impeccable Victoria Beckham is in this month’s Marie Claire, and Daisy has that magazine and FORGOT TO BRING IT TO WORK with her today, so I went online and found the pics and the interview with her.  And I just defy you all to find a more fabulous person on the PLANET than my Victoria.  There is just fabulosity oozing out of every single one of her invisible pores.

You can read the interview right here.  But my favorite snippets?

“Some people are so blasé about having an extraordinary life. But David and I never take anything for granted. I think it’s very cool to still get excited about things. I get as excited now as I ever did when I get a chauffeur driven car pick me up and I stay in a fantastic hotel or get to fly in a private plane. I never want to get blasé.”

I love that.  I love that she’s endlessly excited about the awesomeness of her life.

And in answer to a question about plastic surgery, she said:

“But I do seem to be the only person I know who is getting older. Most famous people get younger and younger. I sometimes ask myself that question: ‘How come I’m the only person who’s getting older?’ But I’m cool with that. I read once that elegance is a privilege of age. I thought, that’s so true. You get more comfortable with yourself as you get older.”

I love that.  Elegance is a privilege of age.  I WANT TO BE HER.

And this:

“I’m a gay man in a woman’s body.”

I love her.  LOVE LOVE LOVE.

That’s always a good combination, if you ask me.

Apparently, he doesn’t take too kindly to being yelled at about using the services of prostitutes. I hope he’s angry because he really doesn’t use the services of prostitutes. He has VICTORIA, for crying out loud. That would be like VICTORIA using the services of prostitutes. Totally a downgrade.

I cannot even TAKE how hot David and Victoria are. This 22 second ad totally makes me feel frisky, and they’re not even naked or anything.

So so so so so so hot. They are PERFECTION.

It’s my birthday + 7 days! And today, my present from Mr. Mock arrived. BEHOLD:

I’m probably going to wear them to sleep tonight.  Especially seeing as how I can barely WALK in them, so I might as well lounge in them looking fabulous as often as possible.

Seriously how totally FEROCIOUS are these shoes? I’m so totally Vicky B in them.

Lady Gaga finally got what she deserved for wearing the stupidest things ever.

My Victoria could wear those ridiculous boots and run marathons in them, while simultaneously carrying fragile china.  But Gaga – you’re simply not good enough.  Just face it.

This could be my new favorite photo of Gaga:

Yup.  She wiped out.  There is justice.

I cannot TAKE how fabulous David and Victoria are. And look at my Victoria looking so proper and stylish and totally fabulous in the audience. She is SO UBER FABULOUS.

I cannot stand the women of The View, but Sheri Shepherd’s shoes are TO DIE FOR.

The only thing I would change about the Beckhams is I would lower David’s voice about an octave. He would be complete, total perfection with a lower voice. But even still, the whole story he tells about meeting Victoria, with her looking on from the audience all giddy and girly and bashful, makes me want to totally be ADOPTED by them, even though I’m like a decade older than they are.

I love them SO MUCH.

All you haters, you CANNOT think she doesn’t look adorable here.  I mean, she’s wearing a puppy as a scarf, for crying out loud.  Best new fashion trend ever.

LOOK AT THE PERFECTION THAT IS THEM.